Thoughts

I feel like i am beginning not to know you anymore. You are changing and i guess i am also. Everything that happened just now....sigh. Guess we need to sit down to thrash things out one day. Thinking about it, it really hurts and pains me that you thought that way about me, all of those false accusations.
You know, you have tonnes of things that i am unhappy about but i never once said anything. Yet when you are unhappy with just a tiny bit of me you attack me. Whenever you joke around and make insensivite jokes, you making out with your aj boss etc, you think i don't mind and laugh it off but i do and it hurts because you yourself can make jokes about all of these but if i did the same will you be happy? If i said oh, i will go fuck my aj teacher, will you be happy? When you said that your teacher who might be aj is interested and nice to you, you think it did not affect me? I was afraid but i did not say anything because you said everything was fine. When your straight classmate squeezed your butt you think i was not worried that he might be into you? But you said he is straight etc so i did not dare say more. Everytime you say such stuff or make insensitive jokes or take about your past, all i do is just cry to myself. I don't even say anything let alone accuse you but you did when mine was just a dream. I thought that you were sensitive enough to know that whatever you say affects me but i guess you might not really be. You say that i don't care about you, then why do i get worried for? You can happily say anything you want but when i say something you get pissed and angry and upset. Tell me, who is the selfish one really?? I know after reading these you will keep like crap but i am sorry, i have to let out all my thoughts somehow if not i will explode. Please be more sensitve next time. I know that you like to joke around but there are tonnes of things to joke around and not just these. And please, watch what you say next time because it gets me really upset sometimes. I don't know if i should ignore all of these or just cry to myself thinking about it. You tell me. Should i be concern and thus upset and then i cry or should i just don't give a damn.

Your dear.