What else i can say?

I have nothing much else to say anymore. Seems like you don't even know how much i need you, talk to you etc... Well, it's okay. Since you want be that way, okay. I understand because i always the one who understand you and its okay you don't understand me. I know i am difficult.

Take care. Love you.

just leave me alone..don't have to care much like you used to.
to tell you the truth, i have no one to turn to. I have no one to listen to all my stuff.
but its okay.

Happy 6th.

Our 6th Anniversary is okay. Watched you sleep/rest make me want to hug you like a baby. =')

- - -

I totally hate today dear. Is like, what really the fuck? You, me..Us behaving like this is not acceptable. What going happened in the future? Us not talking equal to something is fading away. You want to know why i don't text you/sit beside you? Because i always make the first move and i wanting you to make the first just now but you didn't. I really nothing else to say.. Feels like you giving up on me dear. I don't want anyone to get in my way. I just want you dear. YOU! Sigh..Sometimes i find so pointless saying lots of things. I will end till here.

Am worried, scared, losing you. I don't want to live my own life, want you to be part of mine. Don't wish to be alone in this big world. I still need you dear..

New year

New year, new challenges. Nobody listens nowadays and things get harder. More complications, more issues, more emotions and more worries.

try to smile my tears away, i try to keep my cool.

What to do. sometimes i don't know what to do. Don't know if what i am doing is right or wrong. Am scared, unsure and alone....

Have not much to say anymore..

I really got no much to say anymore. Don't know i should look forward for our another plan for next year or not. Am not that excited cause what happening this month is really..Speechless. Wish you know how to make things right and make me feel alright when you make last minute changes.

want us to be happy again. Please dear..

thinking about us

sometimes i really don't know how to describe our relationship, for example today. Guess it is and will always be my part and fault when it comes to bad time management. Add a pinch of misunderstanding, a drip of mis-communication, a dash of frustration and you have a perfect concoction to end any and every relationship. the rules that we set aside that we thought would make everything better always never fail to backfire and we get our hands burnt. I went pubbing today, in my opinion i thought it was one of the best nights, just escaping and not having to think about anything. And as always, one thing leads to another and it always somehow or rather leads to an argument. I see myself trying to accomplish as much as i can in as little time as i have, to maximise my efficiency at the cost of our relationship. And you of course, being ever caring and thoughtful want to spend every min, sec and moment with me. I am not saying or complaining about anything. I am blest with what i have but sometimes i cant help but feel that it has become so routine. Other than our relationship, i don't see myself in any part of other relationships. Family, yes, a little i guess. School friends? What the heck, everyone is too busy. Maybe Karen was right, we are starting to take each other for granted and our passion is fading. Maybe it was a wrong idea to suggest change in the first place because it will always be the cause of our unhappiness. Like my problem. Oh well, looks like i can't be the perfect boyfriend that you wish to have. You can give all your time to me but i may not be able to reciprocate it back to you. Maybe i am selfish, maybe i am insecure so i want to accomplish and establish myself. I don't know. What do you think? Maybe i should be that spoilt brat. Won't that be great? Nothing to worry about. Just spending money like a f**king idiot without the least concern of the sweat and blood that went into the earning of that little dollar......

5th Anniversary.

Last 3 days is our 5th anniversary. Well, things didn't go right but it's okay. You're working for your internship and i always try to be there for you (you too when i'm working). Glad that i didn't have band practice, like last minute and rush down to meet you. =)

Dear dear, thank you for trying to be here/there/everywhere with me. As the day goes by, i really noticed i need you more and more and for-e-var~ lol.. To be truthful to you, i seriously enjoyed myself being with you more then the past (you should know). Really big thank you dear and i know what i have/need to change. Try to throw all my bad habits.

and dear, am looking forward on our 6th and 2 events gonna happen that month. You should know what. =) But am alright if we didn't do it, as long you are there with me. I am happy. =)

Thank you and I love you by your dearest Kai.
Hugs and Mooack!

I've been..

My dear is so busy with working this whole month. Hopefully he won't get ill like me. Dear, thank you for everything. I've been loving you every single day. Loving you now and always. Thank you for taking care of me when i'm sick. Actually i like you be naggy, but sometimes kinda scary. haha. I really want to grow up with you. Well, i know is not that easy cause we still staying with our parents and we are still young to get a real job that we going stick to one, $$$ and of course our dream house and stay in together. =) Hopefully all this will come true one day. I hope is true. =)

I miss you dear, take care and love you always by your dearest Kai. Love my moomoo!