thinking about us

sometimes i really don't know how to describe our relationship, for example today. Guess it is and will always be my part and fault when it comes to bad time management. Add a pinch of misunderstanding, a drip of mis-communication, a dash of frustration and you have a perfect concoction to end any and every relationship. the rules that we set aside that we thought would make everything better always never fail to backfire and we get our hands burnt. I went pubbing today, in my opinion i thought it was one of the best nights, just escaping and not having to think about anything. And as always, one thing leads to another and it always somehow or rather leads to an argument. I see myself trying to accomplish as much as i can in as little time as i have, to maximise my efficiency at the cost of our relationship. And you of course, being ever caring and thoughtful want to spend every min, sec and moment with me. I am not saying or complaining about anything. I am blest with what i have but sometimes i cant help but feel that it has become so routine. Other than our relationship, i don't see myself in any part of other relationships. Family, yes, a little i guess. School friends? What the heck, everyone is too busy. Maybe Karen was right, we are starting to take each other for granted and our passion is fading. Maybe it was a wrong idea to suggest change in the first place because it will always be the cause of our unhappiness. Like my problem. Oh well, looks like i can't be the perfect boyfriend that you wish to have. You can give all your time to me but i may not be able to reciprocate it back to you. Maybe i am selfish, maybe i am insecure so i want to accomplish and establish myself. I don't know. What do you think? Maybe i should be that spoilt brat. Won't that be great? Nothing to worry about. Just spending money like a f**king idiot without the least concern of the sweat and blood that went into the earning of that little dollar......